Mindfulness for LGBTQ People
By Payam Ghassemlou MFT, Ph.D.
Research
has brought to our attention the impact of early life experiences on the
development of the brain. What occurred in the past can condition our brain to
have certain expectations about the future. This can raise concern for many LGBTQ+
people with a history of homophobic or transphobic mistreatment such as being
called derogatory names, being bullied, and becoming subject to physical
violence.
Gay
youngsters often spend many years of their childhood in a state of
hyper-vigilance in order to be ready for possible homophobic attacks. Spending
many years of not knowing what is around the corner can condition the brain to
be in a constant state of over reactivity and might cause severe anxiety. It can
also condition many gay people to relate to the future with a sense of threat
instead of optimism.
As LGBTQ people, we need to have empathy toward our painful experiences and work on
healing from our past mistreatment. In addition to psychotherapy,
mindfulness practices can help us stop living life based on our past
conditioning. For LGBTQ people who grew up mistreated and had to rely on
hyper-vigilance as a survival skill, mindfulness can help them be in the moment
without getting lost in catastrophic thinking. This also applies to anyone who
is a survivor of any kind of past traumas and needs to shift to a more balanced
state of the mind.
Regardless
of our past experiences, mindfulness is useful for anyone who desires to be
fully engaged with the present moment. In this brief article, I attempt to
explore mindfulness and its benefits. My understanding of mindfulness is based
on my training at the UCLA Mindfulness Awareness Research Center (http://marc.ucla.edu/), studying literature,
and many years of my own mindfulness practices.
In
the 1960s, Thich Nhat Hanh brought mindfulness to the attention of Westerners.
Later in 1979, Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn founded the Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction
program at the University of Massachusetts to treat the chronically ill. A variety
of mindfulness practices exist today and much of it was inspired by teachings
from the East.
For
the most part, mindfulness involves bringing our complete attention to our
present experience on a moment-to-moment basis with acceptance and compassion. In
particular, we can observe our physical, emotional, and mental experiences with
kindness. We pay attention to whatever is happening in the moment, and we can
use our sensory awareness to stay fully present. For example, when we wash the
dishes, we can see and feel the soapy water on our hands. Also, paying
attention to the sensation of water on our body during a shower, and noticing
the taste of our food when we eat are examples of being mindfully present.
When
we practice mindfulness, we don’t get lost in either the memories of the past
or the fantasies of the future. Attending
to the sensations of the moment helps us not feel overwhelmed or get lost in
catastrophic thinking. We can cope with overwhelming emotions by focusing on
external sensations such as hearing the sound of our shoes making contact to
the ground while we walk. This way, we
ground ourselves in the reality of the moment which improves our capacity to
tolerate difficult emotions.
Often
our minds can wander away during the practice of paying attention to the
present moment. We don’t need to judge ourselves when that happens. Instead, we
can gently bring our awareness back to whatever we were focusing. We can also
choose something new to notice in the present moment, such as a particular
sound or sensation in the body. With practice, this non-judgmental awareness of
the present moment can be a peaceful way of living.
Paying
attention to our breathing is one more way to be with the present moment.
Awareness of breathing is the most accessible path to the present moment. Over
time, this practice can help us improve our ability to be in the moment. Each
breath combined with acceptance of our moment-to-moment experience can allow us
to experience serenity.
Mindfulness
can help us regulate our attention and observe our mental activities with
consciousness. We bring conscious awareness to our current thinking, feelings,
and sensory experiences. For example, we can label our thoughts as we mindfully
notice things like “planning” or “remembering.” We can also label whatever
emotions we are experiencing in the moment by labeling them as “feeling
anxious” or “feeling calm.” In addition, witnessing our bodily sensations such
as numbness, pain or tingling with an attitude of curiosity instead of judgment
can deepen our connection to our body.
Showing
curiosity toward our surroundings is another path toward the present moment and
can help us notice and engage with life in a new way. The greater awareness
that we bring to our current life, the more we can be part of life.
Finally,
the practice of mindfulness can be enriching for anyone, including LGBTQ people,
in order to live a more present-centered life. This state of active, open
attention to our present moment can help us awaken to our life experiences
instead of letting life pass us by. Mindfulness can help us avoid living a life
based on multi-tasking and maintain our connection with the present moment. To
learn more about mindfulness, you can read Fully Present, The
Science, Art, and Practice of Mindfulness by Susan L. Smalley Ph.D. and
Diana Winston.
For more articles by Dr. Payam, please click on the following link: https://drpayam.com/articles_and_book
©
Payam Ghassemlou MFT Ph.D. is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
(Psychotherapist) in private practice in West Hollywood, California. www.DrPayam.Com
