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You are not alone. Across
the globe, hearts and minds stir in response to the political winds sweeping
through the U.S. In my conversations with Americans and voices from distant
shores alike, I hear a shared unease about democracy's fragile future. No matter
where you stand on the political spectrum, it’s hard to escape the weight of a
world in turmoil. Your nervous system inevitably reacts to the upheaval. The
threads of mental health and political tension are intricately woven together,
especially for marginalized communities—people of color, women, and LGBTQ+
individuals—who bear the brunt of discrimination and the steady erosion of
freedoms.
Taking a somatic approach to
navigating the current political tensions involves recognizing the role of the
autonomic nervous system (ANS). The ANS, a key part of the central nervous
system, governs our fight, flight, or freeze responses, and plays a central
role in our sense of safety, connection with others, and ability to recover
from overwhelming experiences. To maintain your well-being in these
unprecedented times, it's crucial to learn how to manage your nervous system
activations and become your own protective container. Your body can serve as
this container—a vessel in which you can settle and access a sense of safety. A
settled body becomes a resource that can support you through turbulent times,
including political unrest. I encourage you to explore the strategies outlined
below, which can support your ANS toward safety and regulation, ultimately
activating the parasympathetic nervous system.
1) Your nervous system is
constantly responding to your news consumption. Sensational headlines,
emotionally charged stories, and captivating images all impact both your body
and mind. Many TV networks are run by people who have perfected the art of hooking
viewers by creating a sense of urgency and fear. They essentially take their
audience on a roller coaster ride without them even realizing it. This daily
emotional upheaval can lead to anxiety, a common experience for those who
expose their minds and bodies to negative news. Try to limit your news
consumption as much as possible, and switch to something more uplifting.
2) Take a break from your
phone and embrace the opportunity to connect with others. As human beings, we
thrive and experience joy through meaningful connections. Sharing a cup of tea
with a caring friend and exchanging uplifting stories can help calm your
nervous system. The more you substitute face-to-face human interaction with
phone use, the more isolated you may feel. Isolation can trigger your nervous
system to shift into survival mode, while healthy connection with others can
help put your nervous system at ease.
3) Take a moment to track
your breathing. Pay attention to your breathing pattern. Do you tend to breathe
shallowly, or are you engaging in diaphragmatic breathing? Try taking a few
deep breaths and notice how your system responds. Do you feel more relaxed when
you focus on your breath as it enters and leaves your body? Being aware of your
deep breathing can help ground you in the present moment and support your ANS
in shifting to the parasympathetic system.
4) Treat yourself with
kindness and be mindful of the quality of your thoughts. As the Persian poet
Rumi puts it, “If your thought is a rose, you are a rose garden; and if your
thoughts are thorns, you are just kindling for the bath stove.” How you think
directly impacts your well-being. If you fixate on the current political
situation, it can cause unnecessary stress and disrupt your sleep. Take a pause
to observe the activity of your mind and notice how you're feeling inside. If
you detect tension in your body, try focusing on something that helps you feel
better. For instance, recall a time when you had fun or take a mindful walk,
paying attention to what catches your eye and brings you joy.
5) You have the power to
refuse to focus on toxic political discourse and, instead, choose to notice
what uplifts and empowers you. When it comes to where you direct your
attention, you are in control. Don’t let anyone hijack your attention span or
undermine your ability to thrive. Seek out others who value their mental health
and the well-being of their nervous systems, and together, you can embrace what
brings you joy while firmly opposing any system of government that threatens
your equal rights. You can learn from past generations who managed to stand up
for what they believed in while making time for joy. For example, during the
height of the AIDS crisis, not only gay men but also other members of the queer
community engaged in activism, balancing it with dancing all night to avoid
dorsal vagal shutdown. Dorsal vagal shutdown occurs when the body enters a
state of extreme collapse or immobility, often as a response to feeling
overwhelmed or in danger, and is connected to the body’s "freeze" response.
6) A simple practice that
can help your nervous system shift toward the parasympathetic state is to fully
embody positive life events. When you experience something uplifting, make it a
habit to feel it in your body. For example, when someone shows you kindness or
when you play with your pet, pay attention to how it feels within you. Notice
the bodily sensations that arise from these positive moments. You might feel an
expansion in your chest or a lightness in your shoulders. The more you bring
awareness to these pleasant sensations, the more you support your autonomic
nervous system in experiencing safety and achieving regulation.
7) Practice mindfulness, a
valuable tool for anyone who wants to be fully engaged in the present moment.
It involves paying attention to whatever is happening right now, using your
sensory awareness to stay present. For example, when washing the dishes, notice
the feel of the soapy water on your hands. Similarly, paying attention to the
sensation of water on your body during a shower or the taste of your food while
eating are all ways to be mindfully present. Focusing on the sensations of the
moment can help you avoid getting lost in catastrophic political thinking and
feeling overwhelmed.
8) Finally, no matter what
political situation is triggering you or making you feel overwhelmed, you have
the right to heal from it. Life is meant to be an opportunity for growth,
prosperity, and the experience of love and joy—not for living in constant survival
mode. Somatic-focused therapy can help release tension from the body and
regulate your ANS. You don’t have to face overwhelming situations alone.
Reaching out and asking for help is a courageous step toward getting the
support you need to cope.
For anyone who might be new to the body-inclusive psychotherapy method, below you will find a summary of a case that shows the effectiveness of this approach. This case also reveals how, as a licensed Marriage and Family therapist, my psychotherapy practice is inspired by my training in Somatic Experiencing® (SE), which was founded by Peter A. Levine, Ph.D. His curiosity about animals in the wild getting exposed to life-threating situations without getting PTSD while humans frequently succumb to this disorder was the start of SE’s development. SE is a body first approach that helps people discover where they are stuck in the fight, flight, or freeze responses, and how they can “resolve these fixated physiological states.”
SE is a powerful trauma healing medium that includes working with sensations, movements, postures, and gestures as a way of deepening resilience and to reset the nervous system. According to Dr. Levine, the autonomic nervous system (ANS) can become dysregulated due to “the thwarted responses of fight, flight, or freeze” in the aftermath of trauma. A body-oriented approach like SE can help stop trauma become “a life sentence” through “gently releasing thwarted survival energy bound in the body.” To do this, Dr. Levine developed SIBAM as a method to accurately track a client’s inner experiences. In his writings, he described SIBAM as an acronym for “Sensation (Internal-Interoceptive), Image, Behavior (both voluntary and involuntary), Affect (feelings and emotions) and Meaning (including old/traumatic beliefs and new perceptions). These five elements are the channels of experience that occur during a session.”
As you read this case, please note identifying information has been changed to protect confidentiality*. Xavier (pseudonym) is a 35-year-old cis gay man, and a person of color who started to see me to deal with anxiety and work-related stress. He has a history of trauma due to homophobic mistreatment, racial injustice, growing up poor in an impoverished neighborhood, and dealing with alcoholic parents.
After obtaining Xavier’s consent to offer body-inclusive psychotherapy and establishing therapeutic alliance, I started to educate him about the working of the nervous system, and the benefits of a bottom-up approach in therapy. Educating clients about a bottom-up approach, and the basic working of the nervous system can help enhance and clarify the somatic focused therapy process. Clients can benefit from knowing that relying on the thinking brain (a top-down process) as the only path to deal with the root cause of trauma symptoms is not enough to resolve trauma related symptoms. The parts of the brain that are responsible for reflexes, memories, and automatic survival responses are in its deeper regions, and trauma informed therapy needs to involve focusing on those areas.
I also encouraged Xavier to read Waking the Tiger by Dr. Levine, which was a helpful adjunct to his therapy process. It gave him a better understanding of the SE informed therapy process. In general, inviting clients to read books and articles on somatic focused therapy process can demystify the process and help with establishing trust.
My training in SE helped me notice Xavier’s nervous system is stuck on “low,” or hypo-arousal, and when faced with stress, he defaults to shutting down. For example, since he has been promoted to the lead designer at his industrial design job, he often feels overwhelmed dealing with “difficult” colleagues. SE stabilizing techniques have helped Xavier avoid staying stuck in a shutting down mode. One time during the practice of orienting to the environment, he noticed his dog sleeping in the corner of his home office. His dog is a helpful resource and brings him joy. I invited Xavier to track pleasant sensations in relation to noticing his beloved dog. He reported sensing openness in his chest, relaxation in his jaw, and clearer vision. This practice of orienting to the environment by pausing and noticing his surroundings through one or more senses became part of his somatic tool kit. This practice is one of the stabilizing techniques that I often use to support my clients’ nervous system regulation.
To explain it in more detail, orienting to the environment includes the exploratory act of pausing and gently taking in what’s around you. You can let your eyes go wherever they want to go while moving your head gently. You can let your eyes rest on an object for a few seconds, and, when you feel ready, continue with the exploratory practice until you are ready to stop. I often found it helpful to invite clients to notice what they sense as pleasant in their environments and stay with that experience as long as it feels right for them. Xavier, and many other queer trauma survivors, can benefit from introducing their nervous system to uplifting experiences which is contradictory to the experience of the trauma they had to endure. This can help stop letting one’s trauma become a life sentence.
Regarding his work stress, in particular the responsibility of being the lead designer, Xavier has found the concept of under-coupling very useful. By learning about coupling dynamics, in particular under-coupling, Xavier noticed he often underestimates the sense of accomplishment and pride that goes with his advancement of becoming the lead designer. The promotion increased his income, helped him learn more design skills, and freed him from doing many “boring” work related tasks. Up to this point, he did not make a positive association with it. He mainly focused on the burden of having to oversee more employees. When I invite him to identify what feels good about his promotion, he often reports feeling more relaxed and happier after describing it.
As I stated earlier, Xavier has a history of trauma. To avoid the risk of re-traumatizing Xavier by encouraging him to share in detail about his past traumatic events, I used the titration method. Titration is done very gradually to ensure that the trauma narrative does not retraumatize a client. Processing small bits of his painful story at the time and gently revisiting remembered sensations in his body helped Xavier avoid getting overwhelmed or re-traumatized. By holding a safe space and using the titration method, he has been able to uncover bodily sensations associated with his past traumatic experiences. By letting the sensations move through his body, he has been able to release stored trauma energy through crying, shakes, and trembling. This particular release of tension, stress, and trauma can happen during somatic focused therapy. Such an experience helped Xavier have a deeper awareness of his body-mind connection and improved his ability to release and regulate his emotions. Since our work together, he feels less bothered by his past negative circumstances.
Attending some of Dr. Levine’s seminars in Los Angeles, and online, I have learned, “Trauma originates in the nervous system, not the event.” For many queer trauma survivors like Xavier whose thinking brain gets hijacked by trauma memories and their bodies default to a freeze response, a body-centered approach or bottom-up processing is necessary to work with their arousal systems. Previous homophobic mistreatment can cause many queer people like Xavier to feel unsafe even where there is no real threat. What many trauma survivors hold inside in the aftermath of trauma can cause them to overreact in a safe environment or not react correctly in a dangerous situation. A body inclusive therapy can help heal such neuroceptive (a term coined by Dr. Stephen Porges) conditioning and support the ANS to move out of a dysregulated state into a biological state of safety and connection.
After Xavier accomplished his counseling goals, he stopped feeling anxious, his relationship to his job improved, and he was able to meet less frequently for therapy. He has benefited from occasional booster sessions to receive additional support to resolve his life and work-related challenges.
No matter what situation caused one’s trauma, everyone, including Xavier, has a right to heal from it. Life is meant to be an opportunity to grow, prosper, and experience love and joy. Not a constant re-living of one’s unhealed traumas. That is why somatic focused trauma therapy is so necessary to help not only LGBTQ+ people like Xavier but also anyone who is suffering from trauma to reach their full potential.
*Names and other details have been changed in respect for privacy and confidentiality.
Breathing with the awareness that we are connected to all
living beings including the Earth is a fundamental practice in many spiritual
traditions. For me, such awareness is an opportunity to connect with the soul
of the world (Anima Mundi) on a deeper level. In one of the spiritual practices
that I follow, I bring awareness to the space between the in-breath and the out-breath.
Noticing and infusing this space with feelings of love and gratitude for life is
how I can magnetize my inhalation and exhalation with an appreciation for the
sacred nature of life. This practice can also impact the state of my autonomic
nervous system (ANS). It provides a shift toward my parasympathetic system and
invites a sense of serenity to my body and mind.
The ANS is the part of the nervous system that governs the
fight, flight, or freeze instinct and is responsible for many unconscious
bodily functions such as breathing, digesting food, and regulating the heart
rate. It also plays an important role in supplying information from our organs
to our brain. In addition, the ANS plays an enormous role in helping us
experience safety. Once regulated, our ANS can help our body settle and make it
easier to bring awareness to our breathing for meditative and healing purposes.
There is magic in the breath that flows from a person with a regulated nervous
system. When infused with love, it can offer the healing atmosphere needed to
relate to the planet from a caring place.
Everyone has a nervous system. Embracing the oneness of
our humanity can include awareness of our collective nervous system, and the need to regulate it. There are
many breathing practices that can help regulate the ANS. Breathing from a
regulated ANS can add harmony to the collective nervous system. It can also
create the inner peace needed to breathe with the intention of loving the
Earth.
When I breathe in the context of loving and connecting to my body
and the Earth, I can create a relational field between my body and the planet. In
this relational field, I can love the Earth. As Thich Nhat Hanh reminded
us, we need to fall in love with the Earth. This love affair can happen through
contextual breathing that involves mixing breath with love and offering it to
the planet. During this practice the body can become a sacred vessel in the
service of creation, a home to mystical experiences, and a container for love.
The Earth is a living being with a soul and in need of love.
Our survival on the planet depends on how we treat the Earth and all its
inhabitants. Those of us who hear the cry of the Earth cannot ignore the pain
that has been inflicted on her by greed driven consumerism. As the
ecosystem is being destroyed by greed and economic expansion, everyone has a
responsibility to respond to the lament of the Earth. As the oceans get more
polluted and the rainforests more devastated, we need to ask ourselves, “What
are we doing for the Earth?”
One way to help the planet is by loving it and relating to it
as a living being with a soul. As I described earlier, this relationship can
happen through our body, in particular the awareness of our breath. Not
everyone finds meditative breathing helpful, and such practice should never be
imposed on anyone. Those who can engage in slow and mindful breathing with the
intention of caring for the world and inviting calmness to their nervous system
can expand their meditative process beyond solely focusing on personal growth.
To turn the body into a container of love and a vessel in
service to the Earth, one needs to claim the body first. Just like a garden
that needs preparation and elimination of weeds before planting, the body needs
preparation for deepening one’s relationship to life. This work needs to
involve healing from one’s unresolved traumas. According to Peter Levine who
developed the Somatic Experiencing® approach to healing trauma, “trauma is a
fact of life,” and it can become embodied during a person's life. Since our ANS
is shaped by our life experiences, having a history of unresolved trauma, or
dealing with a current overwhelming situation can negatively influence our
ANS’s ability to help us feel safe and cause it to dysregulate. Therefore,
much of the healing from trauma needs to happen through the body. In
particular, the nervous system needs to be regulated. For some, a traumatized
body is less available for the type of breath work that has the potential to facilitate
a kindhearted connection to the Earth. The sense of bliss that one can
experience in relating to life from a place of gratitude is difficult to access
in a body frozen by trauma.
After all these times that the Earth has been sustaining and
holding us so generously, the least any one of us can do is to breathe with remembrance
of the sacred nature of the Earth. Such breath carries a fragrance of love for
the Earth and invites a sense of aliveness to the body. Also, such breath is
needed to journey within and practice meditation with the soul of the planet in
our hearts. Keeping the planet in our hearts during meditation can trigger
healing energy that is needed to love the Earth back to health.
Having trouble sleeping is common. You are not alone. Let’s
stay hopeful and overcome this challenge.
Your body is designed to welcome sleep. It needs sleep to rejuvenate
and get you ready to have a productive day when you wake up in the morning. You
can start by reminding yourself the simple fact that sleep is a natural part of
life, and you deserve a restful sleep. Normalizing this process can reduce the
anxiety you might have about sleep.
When you are trying to sleep, by focusing on not being able
to sleep or reasons behind having trouble sleeping, you probably are not going to
fall sleep. When you focus on problems with sleeping, or any upsetting thoughts
, you won’t feel relaxed. Such thinking can activate your nervous system and
make it harder for you to go to sleep.
Instead of worrying about sleep, let’s create a supportive bedtime
ritual. I am going to describe an example of such a ritual that you might find
helpful.
As a start, when lying in bed, take a minute and remind
yourself of few things you feel grateful about the day you just had. It could
be something simple like you feel grateful for having a pleasant lunch with a
colleague or having fun playing with your pet. Just a simple reminder of good
things you experienced today along with feeling of gratitude is good enough. By
practicing gratitude, you are starting your sleep journey on a positive note.
In general, embracing gratitude can help your body and mind shift
into a calming state. A daily gratitude practice is a simple way to invite
positive emotions into all aspects of your life including sleep.
After practicing gratitude, take a minute or two and give
yourself a loving hug. Fold your arms around your body, positioning them in a
way that feels comfortable, and squeeze yourself with just enough pressure to
feel a pleasant sensation. All you need is just a moment of feeling good
because you deserve compassion.
You can try this self-hugging practice anytime you wish
because loving yourself is a foundation for loving everything else.
After the gratitude and self-hugging practices, remind
yourself you are making a conscious decision to sleep. Affirm the fact that
sleep is good for you. Perhaps a part of you might not want to sleep. By
telling yourself that you are making a choice to sleep, and you believe a good
night sleep is essential for your health, you might be able remove all doubts
about not sleeping.
Again, your body is designed to welcome sleep when you need
it. Sleep is one of the gifts your body offers you toward good health. So, normalize
the sleep process as much as you can.
When you are in bed, instead of focusing on negative self-talk
or anything else that might be on your mind, try to connect to your body in a positive
way. For example, focus on the support of the mattress that your body is
receiving. Our bodies love to feel supported.
By taking a deep breath and bringing your awareness to
comfort and the sense of support your body is receiving from the mattress that you
are lying on, you can help your nervous system shift to a calmer state. Often
the anxiety about not being able to sleep can activate your nervous system and keep
you awake.
Your body and mind can work in complete harmony and support
your sleep. Focusing on safety, and comfort that you experience in your body,
can relax your mind. Give yourself permission to smile when you feel relaxed.
The act of a gentle smile can also help you to feel safe and relax before
falling sleep.
After practicing this bedtime ritual, just relax and
surrender to the wisdom of your body. Again, your body knows how to go to sleep
and your mind supports that process. No need to overthink it. Just let yourself
drift into a peaceful sleep.
What I just described is one approach to a better sleep. I
hope you find it helpful. There are so much more to be said about this topic
which I plan to present in upcoming talks.
On a side note, always talk to your physician for any
health-related concerns including trouble sleeping. In some cases, there may be
underlying medical issues that might contribute to having challenges with sleep,
and it is very important to treat those issues.
I hope you find my second talk on creating
a ritual to sleep better helpful.
In the first segment, I mentioned your body is designed to
welcome sleep. Please don’t over think it.
You can remind yourself the simple fact that sleep is a
natural part of life, and you deserve to rest.
Normalizing this process can reduce the anxiety you might
have about sleep.
I also encouraged you to create a supportive bedtime ritual.
Your bedtime ritual can include taking a minute and reminding
yourself of a few things you feel grateful about the day you just had.
By practicing gratitude, you are starting your sleep journey
on a positive note.
In general, embracing gratitude can help your body and mind shift
into a calming state.
Your bedtime ritual can also include giving yourself a hug and
really love and appreciate yourself.
This practice of loving yourself can help reinforce your
attempt to help your body and mind shift into a relaxed state.
Finally, in the previous talk, I mentioned when you are in
bed, instead of focusing on negative self-talk or anything else that might be
on your mind, try to connect to your body in a positive way.
For example, by taking a deep breath and bringing your
awareness to comfort and the sense of support your body is receiving from the
mattress you can help your nervous system to relax.
This awareness of a sense of comfort might help you fall asleep
faster.
I am now going to briefly talk about few more ideas that you
can consider for your bedtime ritual.
Before I do that, I like to encourage you to talk to your
doctor and make sure there aren’t any underlying medical issues that might
contribute to having challenges with sleep.
I also encourage you to implement basic sleep hygiene.
For example, avoid large meals, caffeine, and alcohol before bedtime,
make sure your bedroom is quiet and dark with the right temperature for your
comfort level, and avoid using electronic devices close to your bedtime.
Now, let me discuss a few more ideas that might help you sleep
better.
When it is time for your bedtime, let yourself become aware
of feeling sleepy.
Allow yourself to welcome that feeling.
You probably had a busy day and naturally your body needs
rest.
By noticing a feeling of being tired or sleepy, you are
listening to your body’s need for sleep.
You might want to scan your body and identify specific areas
of tiredness. For example, you might notice heaviness of muscles around the
eyes.
Your eyes have been active most of your waking hours and now
they are tired.
Most probably, your whole body has been busy working during
your waking hours.
Naturally, your body can feel tired at the end of the day.
Focus on how good it feels to be in bed and resting.
By letting yourself sleep you are nurturing your body and
mind.
You don’t need to fight your way to go to sleep.
You gently let your thinking brain step aside and let the
wisdom of your body lead you to a pleasant dream state. The key is to relax and
trust your body.
In case you wake up in the middle of the night, do not scare
yourself by thinking you won’t go back to sleep.
Don’t overthink it.
Focus on how good it feels to be supported by the mattress or
the pillow and letting your tired body rest.
Sleep is like a gentle river. It can drift you to a dream
state.
It is a journey that can end with waking up and feeling refreshed.
Finally, if you wake up few hours early and still need more
sleep, try to remain in your bed and rest.
Give yourself permission to relax and you might fall sleep
again.
No need to get frustrated about waking up earlier than you
wanted to.
Instead, let yourself focus on the quietness of the early
morning.
Allow yourself to trust and have confidence in the wisdom of
your body to help you go back to sleep.
In general, you cannot think yourself into sleep, but you can
relax your body into falling asleep.
The key to a better sleep is to help your body and mind feel
safe, relaxed, and deserving of sleep.
Make sure you consciously give yourself permission to have a
good night’s sleep. It is important to affirm that. Your body listens to all
your thoughts, so make sure you affirm the permission for a peaceful sleep.
I hope you find some or all these suggestions about creating
a comforting sleep ritual helpful.
Please be patient and give yourself time to make progress in
this area.
Since being vulnerable does not
always come easily to many of us, it is important to have empathy for anyone
who struggles with it. The internet is flooded with writings and talks on encouraging
people to show vulnerability. Having trouble expressing it often gets associated
with a lack of authenticity. Such judgmental interpretations can frequently trigger
shame in people who don’t feel safe enough to be vulnerable due to certain socio-demographic
factors. There is a misconception that expressing vulnerability is a matter of
courage or just making a mental decision. By helping others reclaim it, I have
realized the issue has little to do with bravery or honesty. It has more to do with the state
of one’s nervous system. By having a somatic perspective on understanding
vulnerability, we can open a new path toward befriending it.
There are many different paths toward
befriending vulnerability which includes using the body to build a greater
capacity to embrace it. Our response to many emotional experiences can be felt
in our bodies. For example, Lucas, a 30-year-old cis gender gay man, disclosed
having difficulty asking guys on dates. Doing so makes him feel very
vulnerable. Among other bodily reactions, he reported tightness in his chest
along with uncomfortable restricted breathing when faced with uncertainty to his
invitation. Lucas has a history of growing up with the stress of homophobic mistreatment.
He often felt unsafe at school due to the devastating experience of being
bullied or called derogatory names. Fight or flight was not an option when he
was feeling helpless and hopeless dealing with his traumatic school environment.
Instead, his body resorted to numbing and shutting down. This response became his
default whenever faced with overwhelming situations like entering a vulnerable
state. Lucas’ reactions to becoming vulnerable had nothing to do with a choice or
a lack of courage. It had more to do with his body’s threat alarm being frequently
on.
In general, LGBTQ children are often
at risk for being bullied, and they need protection. Lucas and many other queer
youngsters growing up place their trust in individuals and institutions who
were supposed to protect them from harm. Failure to receive such a protection
at a critical developmental phase became a source of hurt and betrayal. The trauma of growing up gay in a world that did not embrace LGBTQ identity with kindness
and acceptance led Lucas and many others to associate vulnerability with fear
and betrayal. Given his traumatic history, Lucas needed help learning how to
feel safe in his body when becoming vulnerable. Regulation of his psychophysiological
arousal in response to vulnerability has been an important healing task for
Lucas, especially when it came to making connections with other single gay men.
Taking a somatic approach toward working
with vulnerability involves understanding the role of the autonomic
nervous system (“ANS”). The ANS is the part of the nervous system
that governs the fight, flight, or freeze instinct and is
responsible for the unconscious bodily functions like breathing, digesting
food, and regulating the heart rate. It also plays a vital role of supplying
information from our organs to our brain. This system works
automatically (autonomously), without a person’s conscious effort. The
ANS is central to our experience of safety, connection with others, and our
ability to bounce back from life’s overwhelming experiences. Relying on
neuroception, a term coined by Dr. Stephen Porges, our ANS can differentiate
between safety, danger, and a life threat. Neuroception, as Deb Dana (author
of The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy) explains, is automatic, and it
does not go through the thinking part of our brain. Everything from sound to
smell to temperature in our environment, people’s tone of voice, and eye
contact can influence our neuroception. It is like “internal surveillance” that
looks for cues of safety and danger inside the body, in one’s environment, and in
relationship with people. It helps us take immediate action in the face of
danger or threat. The goal of neuroception is to keep us safe and alive. Based
on my training in Somatic Experiencing®, Touch Skills Training for
Trauma Therapists, Polyvagal Theory, and other body inclusive approaches, I have
learned the autonomic nervous system is a relational system that has been
shaped by experience. We now know previous negative life experiences and
traumas can significantly affect how our neuroception accurately assesses
safety, danger, or a life threat. This can explain why many people including
Lucas with history of being judged, humiliated, and violated often avoid
entering a vulnerable state. Their faulty neuroception causes them to feel unsafe
in the absence of real danger.
Since “how we move through the world
is guided by our ANS,” it is important to examine how growing up in a
homophobic and transphobic environment negatively affected the working ofthe ANS. In my counseling work with gay,
lesbian, bisexual, queer identified, and transgender people who have experienced
homophobic or transphobic mistreatment, I have noticed their nervous systems are
often shaped toward self-protection versus making connections. Repeated past humiliation
and rejection by others have made it difficult for many of them to be
open and willing to love and be loved. Given the important role that ANS can play in
people’s ability to embrace vulnerable situations and form relationships, it is
important to learn how to regulate it. When working in a regulated way, the ANS
does not enact the response to the present moment situation based on one’s past
conditioning.
Autonomic regulation has less to do
with talking about our past trauma events and more to do with shifting our
autonomic state that can be stuck on FFF (fight/flight/freeze) toward safety
and relaxation. When Lucas was invited to share about his history, it was done
for the purpose of having greater empathy for his suffering and learning how
fear became associated with vulnerability. Lucas’ personal stories with
homophobic mistreatment was handled with care and in a titrated manner to avoid
re-traumatization. In general, encouraging people to get into their trauma
stories all at once can become overwhelming for them because the nervous system
cannot tell the difference between the original event and the telling of the
event. Healing does not always need to involve re-telling the story. As Peter
Levine, the founder of Somatic Experiencing International, stated, “Trauma
is not in the event, but in the nervous system.” Based on my personal and
clinical work, I also concur that trauma becomes embodied during a person's
life and can affect the working of the ANS. Much of the healing from this
trauma needs to happen through the body. In particular, the nervous system
needs to be regulated.
The work of Stephen Porges’ Polyvagal
Theory has brough to light the role of the vagus nerve in how we experience
safety and connection. The vagus nerve which is divided into two pathways, the
dorsal vagus and the ventral vagus, is the main component of the
parasympathetic nervous system. The ventral vagal of parasympathetic system
plays a crucial role in our experience of safety in our bodies. Activation of the
ventral vagal force in the ANS includes but not limited to awareness and
tracking of pleasant bodily sensations. For example, when I invited Lucas to notice
his body being supported by the couch, he commented, “I can sense my body feels
relaxed and comfortable.” By bringing awareness to comfortable sensations in
his body, he began to breathe deeper and noticed a sense of expansion in his
chest area along with his shoulders becoming more relaxed. For Lucas, tracking bodily
sensations that were comfortable invited the flow of the ventral vagal of
safety and connection.
Another useful somatic
intervention involved identifying and embodying helpful resources that contributed
to his healing journey. For example, attending LGBTQ Pride events and
volunteering at the Los Angeles LGBT+ Community Center felt empowering for
Lucas. By tracking his pleasant bodily sensations as he was sharing about these
helpful resources,
he was creating a physiological event in his body which contributed to regulating
his nervous system. As the therapy session progressed, he found it easier
to imagine and plan on asking a guy he met at his gym on a date without experiencing
tension in his body. Repeated awareness of pleasant sensations in his body increased
his ability to distinguish sensations of distress versus sensations of
well-being. The more he focused on what felt good on the inside the more his autonomic
dysregulation settled, and his window of tolerance expanded.
What makes each one of us feel
vulnerable is unique and personal. What feels vulnerable to Lucas can feel quite
different to another. Regardless of what activates it, the admission ticket to
a more meaningful life for Lucas involved embracing vulnerability. It was
important for him to liberate vulnerability from years of cumulative stress of
dealing with homophobic bullying, and other fearful situations that he had to
endure. By welcoming vulnerability and learning how to work with its
transformative power, he was able to enrich his life. A “body-inclusive”
therapeutic approach offered Lucas tools and practices to lower his activation
and regulate his nervous system in response to his life stresses.
For
almost three decades, I have immersed myself in the life stories of many people
of the LGBTQ community who had painful homophobic and transphobic upbringings. Many
of the gay men’s personal narratives that I have heard are not very different from
my own. Regardless of national origin, we are part of a tribe with similar stories
of growing up in a homophobic and heterosexist world where our gayness was
repeatedly assaulted. We are everywhere, and unfortunately so is homophobia.
Many
gay men have shared with me that as long they could recall they always felt
different. They were unable to articulate why they felt that way, and, at the
same time, they did not feel safe to talk about it. Some knew this feeling of
being different was related to something forbidden. “It felt like keeping an
ugly secret that I could not even understand,” described one person. Other gay
men have disclosed to me that this feeling revealed itself in the form of
gender nonconformity, which could not be kept secret. Therefore, it made them
more vulnerable to homophobic mistreatment at school and often at home. Gay men
of color reported even worse experiences due to the additional stress of racism
and racial bullying.
Many
school-age children organize their school experiences around the notion of not
coming across as different, in particular, queer. Any school-age child’s worst
nightmare is being labeled faggot, which was commonly experienced by many gay
individuals who did not flow with the mainstream. Educational institutions felt
like a scary place for many of them who were scapegoated as queer growing up.
Therefore, they had to cope with a daily assault of shame and humiliation
without any support. This is a form of child abuse on a collective level, and it
needs to stop.
So
much has been written about the devastating impact of homophobia on gay
people’s psychological functioning but not enough on the biological impact of
it. It is important to understand how repeated hateful acts toward gay
youngsters can impact the way their bodies and minds function, including the
functioning of their nervous system. Unfortunately, this also applies to
any child who is a target of hate and abuse.As Peter Levine, the founder of
Somatic Experiencing, stated, “Trauma is not in the event, but in
the nervous system.” Based on my personal and clinical work, I also concur
that trauma becomes embodied during a person's life and can affect the working
of the autonomic nervous system (“ANS”). Much of the healing
from this trauma needs to happen through the body. In particular, the nervous
system needs to be regulated.
The ANS is the part of the nervous
system that governs the fight, flight, or freeze instinct and is responsible for the unconscious
bodily functions like breathing, digesting food, and regulating the heart rate.
It also plays an important role of supplying information from our organs to our
brain. The ANS can become dysregulated due to the thwarted
responses of fight, flight, or freeze in the aftermath of trauma.
The ANS is central to our experience
of safety, connection with others, and our ability to bounce back from life’s
overwhelming experiences. This ability to recover defines resilience and
requires the help of our ANS to keep us in our “window of tolerance”, which has
been defined in the book Nurturing
Resilience by trauma specialists Kathy Kain and Stephen Terrell “as the zone
where we effectively process environmental signals without becoming too
reactive or too withdrawn, given the circumstances.” The window of tolerance as
a frame work is very helpful to understand where we feel safe, unsafe, and how
to expand our optimal arousal zone.
Stephen
Porges’, Bessel van der Kolk’s, and Peter Levine’s research and writings have
significantly reworked my understanding of how the nervous system responds to
threat and trauma. Drawing from their work and my decades of experience, it
is my understanding the ongoing stress from homophobia can activate a
youngster’s nervous system and “unresolved activation will be stored in the
body as bound energy and manifest as trauma symptoms.” In other words, under a daily
homophobic assault, a child’s sympathetic system (“stress response” or “fight
or flight” response) gets overly activated. Often during such stressful
situations, neither fighting nor fleeing can resolve the overwhelming situation,
and the thwarted or incomplete fight and flight responsescan become “trapped” within the body and
dysregulate the nervous system. Such a dysregulated nervous system is more
likely to get stuck on “high” or hyper-arousal. Anxiety, panic attacks, rage,
hyperactivity, mania, hypervigilance, sleeplessness, exaggerated startle
response, digestive problems, and many other symptoms are the result of a dysregulated
nervous system that is stuck on “high” or hyper-arousal.
According to many studies, gay
individuals who experienced homophobic related stress showed increased
production of the stress hormone cortisol compared to peers in safer
environments.This
experience of being stuck on “high” continuously activates a person’s stress
response system, which leads to the release of stress hormones. Research in
this area has shown overexposure to cortisol and other stress hormones leads to
numerous health problem including headaches, oversensitivity to touch or sound,
weight gain, heart disease, concentration impairment, and sleep disturbance.
On the other hand, there are gay men whose nervous systems
are stuck on “low” or hypo-arousal, which can result from being terrorized
growing up with no hope of protection. Faced with isolation, confusion,
physical violence, not being valued, and carrying a secret that the youngster
connects with something terrible and unthinkable is too stressful for any child
to endure, especially when there is no empathic other to help him sort it out.
Such experience is often beyond the youngster’s “window of tolerance.” This is when the dorsal vagus can shut down
the entire system, and the mistreated youngster can go into freeze. In other
words, the youngster suffers in silence with numbness or dissociation as his
only available survival mechanism.
Stephen Porges, the founder of Polyvagal Theory, has expanded
our view of the vagus nerve, one of the largest nerves in the body and a major
part of the Parasympathetic system. The word “vagus” means wandering in Latin. The
dorsal vagus is a branch of the vagus nerve which is a much older part of the
nervous system. Dorsal vagus regulates organs below the diaphragm. Dorsal vagus
is instrumental in activating the “shutdown” of the body as discussed in cases
of overwhelming fear which can result from homophobic mistreatment. This automatic
survival mechanism can become a long-standing pattern of how individuals might
cope with fear and stress in life. For example, people whose nervous system is stuck
on “low” or hypo-arousal when faced with life stresses can default to shutting
down, disassociation, chronic isolation, detachment, numbness, and suicidal
thoughts.
In my counseling work, I have noticed
when the nervous system gets stuck on freeze, when numbness and detachment
become a gay man’s dominant state, he is more likely to engage in risky
behaviors as a temporary relief from inner deadness.Thrill seeking behaviors such as sexual acting out, excessive gambling,
and crystal meth (crystal methamphetamine) use are ways some gay men escape the
emotional flatness that results from experiencing the hypo-arousal state. The
same behaviors can also be used to cope with ongoing activation of the fight or
flight response. One person might turn to substance abuse to escape his inner
deadness and another person might use it to dampen his anxiety that often
results from being stuck in a state of hyper-arousal.
As Peter Levine stated, “Trauma is a fact of life. It does
not, however, have to be a life sentence.”For those of us who have had painful struggles with homophobia, life
after the closet needs to include dealing with memories of homophobic
mistreatment that can lie dormant in our body. Recovery from it needs to start
with resourcing and then progressing to completing the thwarted responses of
fight, flight, or freeze. Such healing can reset the nervous system and restore
inner balance. In Body Keeps the Score,
Dr. Bessel van der Kolk writes about a body-centered approach to healing which
allows “the body to have experiences that deeply and viscerally contradict the
helplessness, rage, or collapse that result from trauma.”
How far the LGBTQ community has come in our struggle for
equal rights reflects how brave we are as a community. Our bravery can continue
by facing traumas we experienced growing up in oppressive environments that did
not nurture our true essence. Not every LGBTQ person felt traumatized growing
up, but those who did can benefit from the vitality and the sense of liberation
that comes with incorporating
somatic work as part of the healing process.
The Somatic Experiencing Trauma Institute offers trainingsand seminarson
the biology of traumatic stress reactions including tools on how to bring the body-mind-spirit
back into balance. Participating in their trainings has enhanced my ability to
help others who are interested to tap into the wisdom of their bodies for
healing and growth. There are many other
institutes that offer body-centered approaches toward healing which reflect the
increased popularity of such work.
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